During the year of the divorce, I was deep in the Word, seeking God like never before, hearing Him speak all around me. He kept the promise that if I would seek Him, I’d find him. He was so near, so faithful, so good to me. He stood beside me. He walked before me. He never left.
In the years since then, even while He was helping me write, giving me opportunities to share my story for His glory, I didn’t feel that same nearness. He would meet me in the Word, but I wasn’t in there as deep and desperately as I had been. While I didn’t walk away, I wasn’t walking as closely either. I would use the busy-ness of single parenthood to justify missed time in the Word. I rarely missed prayer time because I have literally lived on a wing and a prayer the past five years, but my study time was not priority on those days when I barely kept my head above water or when I got the rare lazy day to myself.
I got lazy with the Lord, I guess is what I’m saying.
My laziness allowed space between God and me. We don’t have to intentionally walk away for distance to come between us and God. Instead, we have to be intentional to keep ourselves from drifting. And especially intentional to walk closer and grow deeper. What I’ve found is that when I do walk up closer beside Him, He draws me in, wraps His arm around my shoulder or reaches for my hand. He wants me close. He wants me to know Him, so He gives me more of Him any time I seek to know Him more.
I pray that 2024 finds me daily seeking more of Him – placing priority on His Word, looking for His guidance, trusting His timing, waiting for His plan, watching for His promises, believing for His blessings, growing in faith, forging forgiveness, striving to be and love and live more like Him – and Him making Himself known to me more each day of 2024.