I’m driving on chicken plant road, going toward town. It is a rare moment that I am alone in the van, without my four children who range in age from 14 years to 4 weeks old. Barely knowing what to do with myself, I tune to the local Christian radio station, to a lady sharing her story:
“Art reaches out to hold my hand. He’s read every word of the book that I wrote about our experience…”
She goes on to tell of the infidelity in her marriage, the fear and uncertainty in reconciliation, and the decision she and her husband made to try. It is a beautiful testimony full of hope despite the hurt and faith despite the fear.
Having recently been devastated by my husband’s infidelity in our 14th year of marriage, I felt like every word she spoke could be my own. Except my husband was not reaching out for my hand. My husband did not seem repentant. My husband was not seeking to restore our marriage. Yet. At that point in time, I had full confidence “yet” was appropriate. That God had let me happen upon Lysa Terkeurst because her story was going to be mine. That the beautiful man I had known over half my life, who loved and served the Lord most of his life, would turn back to Him and in doing so, would see the wreckage and pain he left for the kids and me and others beyond our family. That he would not only be reconciled to God but to us also. To me. My marriage would surely be restored because it was the only way I could make sense of God allowing the adultery and devastation to happen in the first place. That He was going to rectify this and bring us back together better and stronger than before so that our testimony, like Lysa and Art’s, could encourage so many ripped apart by infidelity. So that in mending the damage Satan caused, God might bring Himself glory. It was the only way it made sense. It was the only way God could bring good from this evil.
I was wrong. About so many things, it turns out. “Yet” did not happen. My story did not turn out like Lysa’s. My marriage was not reconciled. And there is not only one way for God to bring good from evil. God is not confined to what my feeble mind can conjure. He is able to bring Himself glory despite man’s choices. Despite fallen humanity and a world wrecked by sin.
Though I hoped to have a testimony of marital reconciliation to share for His glory, what I have to offer instead is a testimony of God’s faithfulness in the midst of betrayal, grief, and the debilitating pain of divorce. A testimony of Christ as the only flawless husband and God as the only unfailing Father. How God has held me in His hand and taught me about Himself, myself, life, love, etc. Lessons I want to share in the hope that God will use them to help someone else.
**Below is the video clip of Lysa Terkeurst that I heard on the radio that day. Lysa has come to be one of my heroes. There are many days when I feel her writing is God-given just for me. Though her story includes reconciliation, she shares Truth we can all apply to any hard time.
I love you friend..thank you for your heart and transparency. ❤🙏
Thank you for being so brave in the face of such devastation. My first marriage ended in divorce because of infidelity, and I struggled for years with the pain that that caused. I did not have God and His almighty Son in my life at that time.
That miracle didn’t happen for 20 years. Since then I have been married to a chosen son of God, and in the past 34 years I have been at peace as I put my life into the hands of my heavenly Father
Thank you for obeying God!! So precious!! God is going to use you to be an encouragement and blessing to many!!
Praying for you Bonita, thbk you for sharing
Beautiful words from a beautiful person. God NEVER waste one single moment to use it for HIS glory and HIS purpose.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story and I am convinced your testimony will find the eyes and ears of all the right people. Being a fellow believer, I am encouraged to hear that you find your hope in Christ, the only sure foundation. All other ground is sinking sand. Can’t wait to see what other nuggets of truth in the Gospel you share with the world!
I am so glad you are writing about this. Thank you for sharing your story and your gift of telling it! I look forward to more.
Marlene & I are so proud of you!! We despise the hurt, pain, and host of emotional duress that you & those precious children have been through. We love you and find your words so inspiring and full of wisdom. We are here for you if ever needed for anything!!
I have followed your tragic, heartbreaking story and have been amazed at how your faith has sustained you and your family. You are an inspiration and role model for so many of us. I’m glad that you have decided to start a blog to strengthen others who may be experiencing a similar experience.
I love this and I love you! You have challenged my heart in so many ways when I see that your faith is still strong and you find the courage to be positive and praise God in the midst of learning to live your new “normal.” Thank you for being a blessing to me.
God will never leave you or forsake you. You are a testimony to that. You will help many many people work their way through tragedy of all kinds. Thank you for your story.
Wow!!! Love your courage and hope. Praise God for walking with you through the unimaginable. My favorite line…HE is the best husband and most faithful father. Thank you for sharing friend…there is always hope in Christ when you give your hurt to Him. You bring Him glory!!
Thank you for sharing. Your faithfulness is amazing. God has and will continue to use you and bless you and your children. He will never forsake you as you know!
You are an amazing woman of God and God HAS AND WILL CONTINUE to use you in a mighty way for His honor and glory!!!! 💖💖🙌🙌🙌🙌
Bonita, thank you for sharing and God will use it for His glory. 💕
Bonita, God equipped you well to withstand this tragic turn of events in your life which you have so eloquently written in your introductory. I’m thankful for the blog. Thankful God is using you to help others facing infidelity, token relationships or any kind of hardship in life. Your story was not just a family in crisis but instead involved many. Circumstances that created even more factors to deal with, adding to the betrayal you already had to face. . You had multiple factors going on in your own life with what seemed to be insurmountable odds, yet you stood strong and faithful. What a witness you have been and continue to be to many. Keep sharing God’s goodness I’m looking forward to seeing the blog grow and strengthen peoples relationships with each other and with God. Bless you!
I’ve always wondered, but never had the gall to just ask. It seemed obvious when your life shown to me was full of pictures of a happy family. The handsome, successful husband. The beautiful, doting wife. The genetically blessed, athletic, honor roll children. Then one day they were gone, replaced with scripture and sad quotes, and no happy family pictures to be found. When I saw you daily 20something years ago, I knew you would have a good life. You and I had backgrounds a little different from our classmates. Even so, you were always one of the most genuinely kind, good hearted people I’d ever met. You DESERVED good things, and joy, and stability. I’m sorry your and your childrens’ hearts were broken. I know you lost a million other things, and there’s no need for me to list them. I hope each day gets a little easier for you. I hope in writing your blog, each word helps heal your heart a little more. You are still etched in my mind as one of the most “good” humans I’ve ever crossed paths with. And you still deserve good things. I don’t know how your heart feels right now, but I hope it’s close to, if not already, much better. Thank you for sharing. Look forward to reading more.
Thank you for obedience in sharing your story. I, too, walked this path and know your pain. Continue to get your message out to so many who need to know they are not alone, and that God does have a plan for a hope and a future. God bless.
You are such a beautiful soul, and I know God has big plans for you! I love you, sweet friend!!